LEAKED: Government Budget Plans

Budgets. An oddity of our system which showcases the true power behind government and its legislative agenda, often showing an inability to stick to one’s guns in an effort to “balance the books”.

Today the Saltcon Research Team acquired a copy of a proposed budget from the Government, sent out in order to gain votes and attract neutral parties into voting for it. We’re going to publish it, just because we can.

Click here for Budgetary Madness

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We’re going to break down some of the key policies here and also some of the weird shit.

  • By 2021, the average Briton would be paying an extra £330 in Income tax
  • No mention of the creation of regional investment banks, a key policy for the government
  • No mention of additional NHS Spending (in the QS)
  • “We will continue to defend our particular type of basic income, which comes in the form of a negative income tax.” Cute, but this document confirms a cut on NIT.
  • Meddling with Sin Taxes, raising some and lowering others
  • An overall reduction in defence spending of almost £1bn
  • Defunding of HS2
  • No increase in policing budgets except for “Community Policing”
  • Almost £3bn for something called Budsoddiad Cyrmu?
  • Merging the largest department in government with the most powerful department. DWP merges with The Treasury

We contacted the government for comment but the only respondent got back to us and while he’s a cool dude, he was too scared to take on our interviewer. Eventually, we got in contact with /u/TwistedNuke who gave us this comment

What was leaked is very much a work in progress, and it is irresponsible to speculate on an unfinished work, the government is still committed to its key pledges on the economy, chiefly of which is raising the minimum wage, continuing to see reductions to VAT under a more balanced approach and tackling the unforeseen negative consequences of a LVT set much too high, alongside increased investment in vital infrastructure and other projects.

We passed this document around and received several comments in return

The Leader of the Opposition /u/Leafy_Emerald said:

Although I am shocked of the revalations found within the leaked document I cannot say that I am not surprised. This Government has already come out with multiple statements such as “(…) increases for the bottom band will be pursued too” and “we need to spend again”. I do not think anyone is surprised, this is simply confirmation of our suspicions. The Opposition has been proven right. This Government has broken their promises on taxation. They pledged to keep the burden of tax as low as possible while in turn – the opposite is true. This is not to pay off the defecit that their ambitious plans would create. It is perhaps just to create padding for their ambitious promises. This Government is simply passing the burden onto the next generations, who in turn, have to pay for the reckeless decisions this government is making with higher taxes. In the event of this budget proposal reaching the commons, I will oppose it vehemently as it is a disaster-in-waiting for the british taxpayer.

One Labour party grandee said:

While there are things that I welcome in this budget, there is also a lot to be concerned about. Cutting HS2 funding, in contrast to the Liberal Democrat manifesto; no mention of NHS funding and no planning for adjusting it to inflation as promised; tinkering with sin taxes to appease the Libertarian Party; what can only be described as a significant bung for Wales, presumably to ensure the support of Plaid; and the failure to keep the burden of tax low, as promised. The Liberal Democrats have seemingly sold out, and this budget is the reciept. Very disappointing.

A Senior Green Party Official said:

Essentially carries on the blandly offensive nature of previous budgets. An increase in Carbon Tax which is well below the hikes that are truly needed, a bizarre meddling with sin taxes that ultimately still places most of the pressure on the victims of addition, and no indicated budget for any Common Agricultural Policy replacement. This gets combined with a higher basic rate of income tax, and a refusal to tackle the price hikes families have suffered from the removal of VAT exemptions on essential items, for a budget which will hurt the poorest and the planet.

A leading Conservative MP commented:

It should come as no surprise that this Government plans to hike taxes on hard-working people, but it is shocking to see how easily the Government is already planning to renege on its election promises. Quite how cutting NIT washes with the Lib Dems claiming that they “won’t countenance any attack on NIT” is beyond me. And as for merging the Treasury with the DWP, that is simply madness. This new super department would be scarily big, impossible to manage, and lead to inefficiency in two of the most important Government departments. In short, this Budget is exactly what I expected from this Government. Incompetent, unworkable, and damaging for the people of Britain.

Strange happenings indeed within the Government, who seem to be besieged on all sides by the parties who dislike this preliminary plan greatly.

In the spirit of transparency, one Government spokesperson did ask me to be gentle as the government is a virgin. Take from that what you will, filthy bastard.

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