Shitstorm Rolo (Update 2)

This article was written under the old DEFCON style system, therefore may be out of date by modern metrics.

Category 5 Shitstorm

SALTCON upgraded to SALTCON 1

So, /u/IndigoRolo has forgotten to resign in the Election Update post to the triumphant cheer of MHOCcers far and wide, but sadly the category of this shitstorm has not been downgraded as speculation grows that the results will not be re-run.

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This comes in conjunction with a tiny post by /u/IndigoRolo defending his election system and the results which has caused massive uproar in the Main Chat and comments section of Reddit. Many say the post has done nothing and explains nothing, it simply acts as a palceholder.

We have put out the following notice as the situation hits SALTCON 1, with main chat and META chat locked.

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Prime Minister /u/DrCaeserMD expressed his anger at the election results, almost punching our Shitstorm chaser /u/Padanub as he paced around the Tory election HQ

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Members obviously feel very strongly about this and we at SALTCON have covered their thoughts below,

 

It is evident that the Shitstorm is still causing devastating damage, hours after it has made landfall. The UK Weather Service has put out a Red Warning for floods and heavy toxic rain for the country.

In the middle of this Shitstorm, we have two correspondents who have recorded their thoughts below,

I’m live on the scene of  Shitstorm Rolo, and as you can see around me, things are getting out of hand here. Just behind me we’re seeing a level of salt on the ground that’s already getting past my knee. These are salt levels that we haven’t seen before.

As well, just to my left you can see a lot of shit has been falling from the sky. Meteorologists now believe that the source of that shit is main chat. The combination of salt and shit and poor election results has been forcing a lot of evacuations from the area.

At the moment, there is no end in site. We urge all who remain to stay inside their houses for the foreseeable future, and avoid the outdoors at all costs.

/u/Redwolf77

We are here in south london, the shitstorm has hit absolutely hard here, as all candidates call bullshit on the results. 4 out of 5 candidates have been evacuated, besides the green candidate, /u/guiltyair, who still doesn’t know whats going on. We can see the absolute damage of the shitstorm here, as all the conservative and liberal democrat voters have vanished into thin air, and the conservative majority has been reduced to 3000. Back to you Padanub.

–/u/OKELEUK

One positive of this entire storm is that when Winter comes, the UK will be incredibly well stocked with salt piles for icy roads.

 

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