Tropical Cycshitlone Golux

This article was written under the old DEFCON style system, therefore may be out of date by modern metrics.

Category 3 Tropical Cycshitlone

SALTCON Level 4

Now this is a mad one.

Firstly, I must apologise for the lateness of this post. Your SALTCON Team has been working hard behind the scenes on Project Soros, which has taken an extreme amount of my time and my kids blood.

On Monday the 18th of September, a Tropical Cycshitlone made landfall in the lovely world of /r/CMHOC. After the local population finished profusely apologising for getting in the Cyclones way, the entire Deputy Speakership team resigned, citing a lack of confidence in the Speaker.

After spending many hours talking to private detectives, it seems that SALTCON were able to uncover that the top dog of the CMHOC Speakership Team had basically done fuck all and spent most of his time emulating /u/IndigoRolo from MHOC.

eeteep

This was a serious issue in CMHOC as there were things he was constitutionally bound to do (approve constitutional changes) which he was absent for, leaving it all to the overworked Deputy Speakership.

Using a fantastic new Source Enabling System, we can bring you a short summary of events

So essentially, just like Shitstorm Rolo, Golux descended into a Tropical Cycshitlone and neglected and fucked up his duties.

The brave mounted moose warriors of the Canadian Battalion fought this Cycshitlone head on however, and as shown above they have scared it off by saying Sorry with a really mean face.

I can confirm so far that we have no recorded casualties (other than Golux himself who appears to of vanished after being killed in the night of the long knives) but we have several recorded incidents of Resignations and some light trolling.

Manners in Canada have also taken a severe downturn.

Also a ridiculous amount of messages asking us to cover this, which has damaged our Data Centre.

ADDENDUM: It appears that /u/Lyraseven was the primary troublemaker in this dance of dragons, but theres more than meets the eye. 

/u/Lyaseven submitted the initial VONC Request and Documentation, standing for hours in the queue to see the General Governor, who was of course serving at his majesties pleasure.

Untitled-4

After the VONC was submitted, an amendment was also submitted so that the VONC wouldn’t apply to the whole Speakership, the amendment passed which upset /u/LyraSeven greatly, so much so that she then voted AGAINST her own VONC.

Nobody to this day is quite sure whether or not /u/LyraSeven simply lost the plot, or if they are currently housed in a straitjacket.

1 thought on “Tropical Cycshitlone Golux

  1. Interesting take. Lyra here. I voted against the VoNC because of the amendment inserted heartfelt but out of place kind words about the Speaker, Golux, not because it exempted the Deputy Speakers. This was agreed to in discussions with /u/El_Chapotato just prior to my VoNC going out.

    The actual issue in question was /u/mrsirofvibe inserting language not reflective of the intent of the original signatories to the motion. It was very personal and emotive language that doesnt’ belong in a motion to the House and spoke for the House on behalf of the people whose names were in the motion, which is deeply distasteful. I voted against the Vote of No Confidence because I object to putting words in others’ mouths in the strongest possible way.

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