EU Parliament passes Wagbo’s Deal

In an effort to avoid a “No Deal Brexit”, the EU Parliament in its last scheduled sitting has passed the deal negotiated by former Prime Minister Wagbo.

The deal passed with a sizeable majority of 378, with the final tally being confirmed as;

564 For, 186 Against.

This comes after the Liberal Democrats, still led by former Prime Minister Wagbo_ confirmed in a late night statement that they would be supporting the controversial “EU Withdrawal Agreement” Bill

Manfred Weber, a candidate for President and an all round good tennis enthusiast made his opinion heard, screaming it from the gents toilets

The onus is on the UK. No-deal is in no ones interest, but it can be avoided only with a mutual agreement. We can make it as easy as possible for the British Government, but only they can pull back from the edge.

Manfred Weber

Guy Verhofstadt, the EU Parliament representative in Brexit Negotiations gave us this quote as he rushed out for a Croissant and some snails;

We will work tirelessless to prevent a no-deal exit. We have an agreement ready to go, all we need is one signature from the UK

Guy Verhofstadt

It is clear that the EU seems to be sticking to its mark, while the UK Government Ramp up its no deal preparations in a bid to scare the EU into renegotiating some of the key terms in the deal. The Prime Minister gave a statement confirming he wasn’t afraid to call a national emergency, the Home Secretary gave a statement confirming a mass recruitment of bobbies on the beat, the secretary of state for Defence gave a statement confirming he’d essentially declare fucking martial law (mad) by replacing police with the army (Op: Temperer is nuts) and the Chancellor gave a statement to close the day, confirming he’d hire a load of pencil pushers at HMRC, real exciting stuff.

Our friends at the Guardian have posted several articles on the Brexit shenanigans going on, which we recommend you read (mainly because we can’t be fucked to write about the history of this tumultous shit and Viljow paid us a lot of money)

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