Today is a bad day. Our research team has spent two hours trawling the campaign events for today and quite honestly it’s nothing but pure dross. The events today have either been completely uneventful, or so eventful that it’s almost baiting the media to cover it (which means we won’t give it the light of day).
Nonetheless, we have tried our best to get you the following roundup. Unfortunately it’s very difficult to pick out anything. Don’t worry though, we are working on some phenomenal articles for you post-campaigning!
To keep you up to date we have decided to create a Highs and Lows of the campaign for each day, to help you understand what weird and wonderful things are happening on the trail.
We need to spend more time dipping our Politicians in weird gooey substances, it has a very village fete feel to it.
Just like yesterday, a political candidate has apparently met with one of the stiffest and most formal talkers in the country, just look at the way they respond. Good lord.
This is just fucking odd. I can’t go into any more detail without a quick trip to the Police Station.
I can’t work out what the point of this event was, it has wasted the candidates time because he’s not maximising his reach. It wastes the hikers time as they are having their enjoyable downtime ruined by a political candidate. It also wastes my time, reading and having to report on this rubbish.