!!CAUTION!! This article contains a high amount of snakes (Labour Party) and should only be read by trained snake charmers.

Shocking news emerged today as it was revealed quietly that respected Press Secretary /u/QuillzToxic42 had resigned from his role as Press Secretary for the Labour Party (and ultimately from the party at large).

The news came amidst reports that the party machine was unhappy over recent comments made in the House about Marxism being a “fairly liberal ideology” (absolute fucking scenes here lmao) and there were concerns over how this painted the party. A short argument ensued in the party chat and ultimately it was decided “unanimously” by “the leadership” that QuillzToxic was to resign or be fired.

Initially this wouldn’t strike me as odd, considering that if you say stupid things you win stupid prizes, but QuillzToxic confirmed that he had retracted his comments and apologized for them, yet the Leadership (which consists of a noted Marxist) decided to fire him regardless.

Our Chief Pimpterviewer caught up with /u/QuillzToxic42 in the Brass Cat pub in the Red Light District of Leeds.

Thanks for meeting with us today Quillz, to start, What exactly happened? Did you resign or were you fired?

“I was told to resign, so effectively fired”

Where did the order come from? What for precisely?

“It came from the leader, who I was told was being pressured by Viljo, a blairite who I haven’t had a good relationship with especially after last night’s events. I was told to resign for saying a single comment in the house  “Marxism is a fairly liberal ideology” which I didn’t defend and I recalled later.”

So you were essentially muscled out for an error of judgement, do you agree with the decision?

“I do not agree with that no, it was made out to be a unanimous leadership decision. It should have been a party decision to remove me since I was an elected official”

Labour Press Secretary is an elected position as QuillzToxic42 rightly pointed out, so we consulted the Labour Party Constitution on this. We noted that despite being a party for the members and a supporter of democracy there was fuck all by way of a documented disciplinary process for members and the mechanism to remove elected officials was also absent, meaning it’s essentially anarchy.

We agree with Quillz on this point, surely an elected official should be removed by his electors and not by a shadowy cabal at the top who don’t like him, is this a whiff of the Blairite purges returning? Is WillShakespeares leadership going to be condemned in the annals of history as a period of “missing persons” and photoshopping?

We contacted the Labour Party to give them a chance to respond in good faith, instead, they took our courtesy as a prompt to push their own narrative and statement and not even bother telling us (they said they would provide us a statement). Essentially instead of providing us with any defence they snaked us and posted their own statement here. Which I only found out about thanks to an eagle-eyed news reader (Labour still haven’t told me.)

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