Oh what a night! Myself and some friends from the mainstream newsmedia were sat in a rooftop bar in London, playing on our phones and ignoring each other and tweeting about the by-election! It was such fun!

The results came out to a storm of tweeting, fingers tapping everywhere as once more the Conservative Party Machine proves its dominance by sweeping aside the Left Wing to clench victory with a comfortable majority.

Unfortunately I can’t actually give the Conservatives any credit, they didn’t “win” by any stretch of the imagination, instead they accidentally stumbled into first place. This is all because the left wing split once more and ended up splitting the vote *groan*.

We’ve attached a handy chart of what this seat looked like before this election, you can see a strong left wing showing when they were united, but unfortunately it appears as usual, they fucking bottled it.

Lets look at the campaign though, with many calling it rigged.

  • Tory Posts – 23
  • ISD Posts – 18
  • TPM Posts – 19
  • Indie Posts – 4

Of these posts quite a few were absolute dross, maybe a sentence or two each (mostly TPM and ISD posts). So, in usual Saltcon election fashion, let’s look at the best and worst! (Yellow events are electoral law breaches)

Notable Campaign Events

Tommy1Boys wastes his time on Mumsnet, where over 90% of the users are not from Oxfordshire and Berkshire – Shiver me timbers, what a twat

Conservative Candidate gets told to piss off by Commuter – Probably the most real event in the campaign so far

The ISD buy or hire a huge lego statue – I’ve referred this to the electoral commission, it’s definitely breaching expenses considering in a later post it lights up and talks.

Man gives lengthy speech and forgets to say “vote for x” – Seriously, who the fuck are you campaigning for? There’s literally nothing to indicate it.

TPM activists stand outside a prison in balaclavas, armed with t-shirt cannons. They then bomb the prison with leaflets – Not only is this phenomenally illegal, it’s also likely to actually get the campaign and the candidate suspended as the campaign material will be imprinted and only available from an official source (ie, the election agent)

Now what about the posters?!?!

The Best

Bold, easy to read, dubious about the bottom bit but its solid.
Tories continue to use easy and readable branding in a professional and inviting format

The Worst

Is OxBerk in danger of secession? What does this poster even fucking mean?
Diabolical execution, dear lord. Go home Trev, you’re drunk.
You let your mum do the graphic design too?

As always if you’ve got thoughts or opinions, either shove them up your ass or email submissions@saltcon.uk

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