Earlier this morning Saltcon broke the news on twitter than a major UK Politician had been assaulted by a dairy based projectile while working in Birmingham. No further details were available at the time but eventually they trickled through.

Bored Former Prime Minister and all round good boi /u/Leafy_Emerald was attending a charity event to raise money for disadvantaged farmers (lmao) when a hooded figure rushed the stage, armed with what looked like a McDonalds cup.

The terrorist then proceeded to launch the cup at Leafy_Emerald, due to shit chinese cup construction the lid flew off and the former prime minister was duly covered in Milkshake. Initial reports from witnesses at the closed event say that the Former PM mumbled something about a preference for Strawberry before being bustled off-stage by his security team, one of whom had his gun pointed at the soiled cup as it rolled off-stage.

Once the suspect was apprehended details were passed onto Saltcon, confirming the milkshake was a Banana & Chocolate flavoured shake from McDonalds, one witness said he saw the suspect add whipped cream to the top, just before the attack.

West Midlands Police confirmed they have well-known former labour leader NukeMaus in custody over the attack, he was seen leaving McDonalds shortly before the event and was apprehended at the scene.

There is no word as to what happened with the Prime Ministers security team and why they were so slow to respond/do anything about the attack. It is also not understood at this time whether the former Prime Minister will be pressing charges of Common Assault or not.

Both NukeMaus and Leafy_Emeralds offices declined to comment, but NukeMaus did tweet after the event, a selfie of himself at McDonalds.

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