This article was written under the old DEFCON style system, therefore may be out of date by modern metrics.


SALTCON LEVEL 3 (Downgraded)

Bugger me. Shitstorm Rolo has finally moved back out to sea and it is now becoming clear the devastation caused.

We have below a small excerpt of the small Typhoon Purpleslug, an aftershock of the Shitstorm, in action.

The Triumvirate Red Cross have provided official figures of fatalities after /u/Padanub made a freedom of information request.

  • 7 Discord Bans
  • 3 Subreddit Bans
  • 5 Speakership Resignations
  • 1 VONC submission
  • 9 MHOCMeta posts with over 290 comments
  • 124 Jwbot pins
  • 2 Leaving posts
  • Return of Shitstorm Honeydew
  • Return of Shitstorm Vowels

The damage is in the billions now, the lifespan of MHOC as predicted by our friends at the University of Cumbria has been drastically shortened.
So far there has been no outreach for foreign aid, nor has any been offered as ModelUSGOV is caught in the grip of Shitstorm BiggBoss, a long term weather system labelled Category 3.
Wee look eagerly to the clean-up process to be started by the Head of Triumvirate Red Cross, Dr. Timanfya and we wish all those involved luck.

Stay tuned for more updates on the potential Shitstorms of the Model World and please send any donations to the Triumvirate Red Cross.


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