This article would not have been possible if not for my team of amazing Autobots in the “Big Dicks on Budget” group chat. They’ve done a huge amount of research and writing on this super confusing issue.

  • InfernoPlato
  • Leafy_Emerald
  • Mcsherry
  • Zoto888 (Shaun)
  • Saunders16
  • ToastinRussian

We’ve got a fantastic article here for you. Currently in MHOC there is an argument ongoing (since about 2014) about how we simulate budgets in the game, and that argument has been resolved and reflamed several times and we now believe it is big enough for us to tackle.

So to understand this, we need to first understand how MHOC does/did budgets. Originally back in’t day budgets were anyone’s fucking game, if you could make a spreadsheet and make the numbers look somewhat convincing, you had a working budget that your majority could pass.

Subsequent budgets from yours would then be totally up for grabs. The figures could be made up, invented and interpreted. Collected 20 million from a tax last year? Well it’s 40 million now because we changed the brackets and guessed so many more people now live here.

This budget system almost kinda sorta worked until Mepzie (oldies will remember this big dick Tory) inherited a left wing budget (the left traditionally dominated MHOC). He discovered the numbers to his mind were wacked out and cut them down. This was done during a fucked up coalition of Lib Dem-Con-UKIP-CNP in government, which meant that the left wing seized upon these ‘’’’’’meta’’’’’’’ cuts as evidence the Tories were evil. Tories cried foul but Lib Dems sided with the left.

And so began the meta wankery between those who wanted the over inflated numbers cut and those who wanted them cut but without the meta implications of having the Tories be evil people harming the NHS.

So, the response to this after much trial and tribulation was a “reset”. Now I can hear the moaning from the back already, but bear with me here. A “budget 0” was developed, this was the IRL budget by Phillip Hammond but with some weird, wacky and fucking insane additions such as:

  • Budget 0 increased spending but it still remained lower than IRL(how this happened nobody knows considering the shit tonne of spending we have on here)
  • The deficit was made into a surplus on the budget 0 spreadsheet, but in the changelog there was no surplus (???)
  • Budget 0 abolished LVT which was brought back in Budget 1 by ToastinRussian (Which chicken-man /u/bloodycontrary will complain about because it wasn’t the Tories who implemented LVT but the Lib Dems)
  • GDP was a lot lower than IRL by some £300 billion

This budget was meant to provide an easy base for MHOC to springboard off for newer budgets, but it appears to of totally fucking disastrously failed as MHOC is still engulfed in budget crisis. So we come to the current day.

Saunders16, bored of the fighting came up with another reset idea, with “Budget 0.2” (yeah fuck knows how we went from Budget 0 -> Budget 1 -> Budget 0.2). This budget brings in a 40 billion deficit from IRL, which is being argued as being done to shaft the government/tories.

No budget is safe from meta wankery – whilst Saunders16 and Friedmanite talked about how large to make the deficit, it became obvious to all that the system was flawed, the budget deficit really shouldn’t be negotiable. We’re back to the first problem of shoving in numbers and checking to see if they look somewhat realistic.

Now in the meta there are two problems and two broad church groups with their own ideas.

The first problem is that there is a debate between those who want to decanonise everything vs those who want to keep some and update the budget. Those who want to decanonise everything see it as a clean slate so we can create a fresh budget without the previous problems of arguing who did what. Those who want partial decanonisation see it as retaining MHOCs luscious and rich history whilst changing about the numbers.

The original budget 0 is of the partial variety, decanonise some things whilst updating the budget. However there are problems. LVT has been in every budget since probably forever, but each budget has it earning different amounts. Despite how many times people say don’t compare the numbers of LVT between budgets, someone always will. In a Bnzss budget it earns £49595bn. In a Toast budget is earns £292bn. Now in theory the numbers aren’t canon, just the policies. People can’t comprehend the policy is canon, but the numbers aren’t. Every budget or GE they will claim a party either increased/decreased spending or taxes by x despite mods telling them to stop. It’s all just confusing.

The second fight is the fight between the spreadsheet wankers and the list wankers.

Spreadsheet wankers are just that. They want every policy to have a number and then have that number interact with a tax band, with the amount of that tax being calculated from the population of the UK yadda yadda yadda boring maths stuff economics students are cunts. List wankers want a list of policies and a rough estimate of how much this will cost. This is seen as simpler and less complicated than a spreadsheet and less prone to manipulation like we’ve already discussed earlier in the article.

MHOC is currently a spreadsheet wanker, whilst MHOCHolyrood is a list wanker.

In conclusion, budgets are fucked and the Speakership are, in their usual slow and steady manner, working to fixing it for the final time. (slow as fuck). Or at least until MHOC chancellor’s complain again and we have another batch of meta wankery from them, changing the system to fit their needs.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.